This afternoon, Brooklyn Brewery Receptionist Brian Dochney and Brewmaster Garrett Oliver sat down to discuss chicken purveyor KFC’s newest lab experiment The Double Down, which contains two pieces of bacon and two melted slices of cheese, slathered in mayonnaise and sandwiched between two slices of deep fried boneless chicken breasts.
Receptionist Brian Dochney: The double down is all the kids are talking about these days, have you tried it? Why or why not?
Brewmaster Garrett Oliver: Didn’t happen, isn’t going to happen. I’ve known Sam Sifton for more than 15 years, and he’s a better man than I am.
RBD: If this year’s Brewery Holiday party is held in a KFC (as we all wish it was) would you try it even then?
BGO: Ummm….no. The point, we hope, of the holidays, is for us to be happy and healthy. As opposed to unhealthy and suicidal. The Double Down reminds of that routine by Patton Oswalt where he describes a fast food dish as “a sadness pile in a failure bowl.” Only with the Double Down, you don’t even get to eat the failure bowl. It’s replaced by depression paper.
RBD: We’re going to a fine dining establishment, they have a specialty of the day, a Double Down is placed on your plate. Do you leave? Facebook about it? Re-examine your life choices?
BGO: I go talk to the chef, asking him plaintively “is this some ghastly new form of sous vide”?
RBD: The big one — What do we pair beer wise, with such a behemoth of taste and proportions?
BGO: Colt 45 with a dissolved Pepcid AC. It works every time.
RBD: Answer that last one wisely, oh sage of beerdom, if you knock it out of the park we’ll print it on a poster and mail it to the Beard Foundation.
BGO: Well, although I’d like my Susan Lucci-esque relationship with the James Beard Foundation to move in a different direction, “straight into the ground” was not the direction I’d had in mind.
RBD: Also of note, “Beard Foundation”, quite the misnomer if you leave off the “James”…
BGO: I’m not touching that with your breadstick.