Evil Empire, Chapter Gazillion: In a colorful series of abbreviations, the EU OK’d the proposed AB InBev/SABMiller merger we’ve been hearing so much about over the past few years. The companies would be required to divest or spin off some of their larger assets in Europe, similar to their requirements in Asia, but this still puts us one step closer to a world in which one massive conglomerate controls ~30% of the world’s beer. It’s not the best idea we’ve ever heard for an 80′s movie villain, but it’s close.
Beer School By The Sea: UCLA has added a course called A Class of Beer: An Overview of the Craft Brewing Renaissance, serving as “an introduction to the craft beer movement for homebrewers, food-and-beverage professionals, or people who just like good beer.” Don’t rush to the applications yet, however– there’s already fifty people on the waiting list for the course, and all of them have a better tan than you.
Gettin’ Foggy: San Francisco-based distillery Hangar 1 Vodka has debuted Fog Point Vodka, distilled from fresh water collected from the famous fogs of the Bay Area. The inital price is $125 a bottle, which would buy you three bottles of regular Hangar 1 Vodka with money to spare for ice, or roughly twelve beers (with tip) at Toronados on Lower Haight. But hey, who are we to judge?
Gettin’ Foggier: In further fog news, Chileans living in Atacama– credited as one of the planet’s driest locations, earning the title of “absolute desert”– has harnessed the power of the ominous morning fogs known as “The Darkness” to provide irrigation, drinking water, and brewing water to the surrounding area. This technology also shines a light on the viability of Star Wars worlds like Tatooine and Jakku, which thrills us to our nerdy cores.
Bourbon Booms: Thanks to bourbon’s surging popularity in recent years, distillers are working overtime to be certain they have enough to go around. Bourbon production grew 44% in the past year, ensuring years of sweet, soothing brown liquor for years to come. See, just when you think the world’s all tough spots and barnacles, something nice happens!
A Tribute: *GAME OF THRONES SPOILER* But sometimes, there’s pain. We’d like to doff our caps and raise our glasses to dear Hodor, of Game of Thrones fame and great cheer, for his sacrifice in last week’s episode. We can only hope he died well, and doesn’t become literally the biggest White Walker in Westeros. And Bran, if you can greensight this: quit messing with people’s reality.