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The Legion Drops Rhymes

ferris bueller snaps

At the April meetup of our Legion of Osiris, we decided to get our snapping fingers ready and encourage everyone to write poems about our favorite topic: beer! (Space Jam was a close second.)

While the Legion itself is, of course, a closely guarded secret society, we’re sharing our favorites right here on the blog. Check our the best of each category below, and if you’re interested in joining the Legion, start asking around to people who seem to be in the know about that sort of thing (like us, for instance.)

Haiku

Beer, I love you so
You make my sadness go away
Call my therapist

The author remains anonymous, but, uh…we’re maybe a little worried?

Limerick

There once was a grimy old ‘hood
Where an empty warehouse had stood
THen in came two dudes
With shit tons of brews
And then everything was REAL GOOD.

The authors are credited as Kelly [last name redacted, like Cher] at 33%, John Bissert at 33%, Ryan Milarou at 33%, Chase Desu at 1%, and Beyonce at a surprising 0%. She’s been a bit busy lately.

beyonce lemonade bat twirl

Lyric Poetry

Sorachi Ace, by John Bissert

O, Sorachi Ace,
I’d like to put you in your place

That place is my face
While I float through outer space

Listening heartily to Ace of Base…
Better watch my pace

You’re a farmhouse “sais”
With a delightful taste

I could drink it by the gosh darn case
…In space with Ace of Base

The End

If anyone has the phone numbers for Ace of Base, NASA, or Elon Musk, please let us know.

Anarchy Poetry NO RULES

YOU’LL CONTRACT GOUT, THE DOCTOR SAID
IF YOU IMBIBE MORE CHOCOLATE STOUT
OH, HANG THE GOUT, THE PATIENT SAID
NO STOUT, NO JOY– BETTER OFF DEAD

When you’re right, you’re right, anonymous author.

We’d like to thank all of our loyal Legionnaires for participating, and we look forward to seeing them all soon for arcane rituals, beer, and singing!

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