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The Weekly Sixer: October 21

ferris bueller snaps

Party Cubano Style: Thanks to increasingly positive relationships between the USA and Cuba, restrictions on Cuban rum and cigars were lifted completely this week. Previously, these goods had been limited to 100 pounds per traveler, which sounds like plenty until you try to throw a party. Experts look forward to a new appreciation for these long-contraband items, but also warn that a sharp uptick in white men doing bad Scarface impressions may also occur.

The Best Part of Waking Up: Family and party man Mariano “Pops” Rotelli turned 107 this week, crediting his longevity to a shot of whiskey in his morning coffee every day. Rotelli claimed that he had only been to the doctor three times in his life, but had been drinking his eye-opener every day “for the past hundred years.” We’re not sure how a seven-year-old gets started on the ultimate red-eye, but salute Pops all the same for his inspiration.

adventure time skeleton dance party

Fifth Hammer Gets Swinging: The NYC Department of Buildings cleared the Fifth Hammer Brewing Company space to begin work this week, marking the launch pad for New York City’s latest craft brewery. Co-founders Chris Cuzme and David Scharfstein have been brightening the neighborhood with jazz music and homemade dog biscuits since taking over the LIC space, but we’re looking forward to seeing their brewing dreams come to the light of day. Cheers, Fifth Hammer!

Northern Brewer Goes Big Beer: Popular online homebrew shop Northern Brewer and their properties have been acquired by the Philip K. Dick-sounding ZX Ventures, the global Disruptive Growth Unit of AB-InBev. The news came as a serious blow to homebrewers, many of whom turned to the craft to escape the reach of AB and similar giants in the first place. NB founder Chris Farley maintains that their company structure is untouched and they will maintain focus on growing and meeting homebrewers’ needs. Best of luck, kettle-bearing brethren.

no-words-homer-into-brush

Problems You Didn’t Know You Had: An armchair genius has invented a slanted beer mug, ensuring that the top rim of your glass never obscures your vision as you watch an endless parade of television. If you didn’t realize that beer mugs had this issue, then congratulations! You have a healthy relationship with your glassware and your television. To the rest, well, here’s your solution.

Jazz Up Your Jungle Juice: Halloween is a great time for raucous parties, but you can do better than the bucket of guaranteed hangover fluid that used to be the hallmark of your college parties. If you’re making a big batch of punch, why not go tiki? Check out this guide to making your own tiki drinks at home, and get back to choosing your Halloween costume. Pro tip: no matter what meme you’re thinking of, it’s already too late to be relevant.

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