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Watson Analyzes This: Greenmarket Wheat

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IBM’s Watson computer system, which you may remember from the decidedly one-sided man vs. machine Jeopardy! series when it was first unveiled, is now trying its hand as a psychoanalyst. Personality Insights takes sample text and returns a “spectrum of cognitive and social characteristics. With Watson Analyzes This, we see what Watson has to say about our beers from their Beers Page description, then run our own, human-powered analysis of its work.

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On the Couch: Brooklyn Greenmarket Wheat
Favorite America The Beautiful Lyric: “For amber waves of grain”
Dream Career Aside From Beer: Either bread or duck feed
Favorite Accent: Bavarian

Watson Says:
You are rational, heartfelt and inner-directed. You are calm-seeking: you prefer activities that are quiet, calm, and safe. You are confident: you are hard to embarrass and are self-confident most of the time. And you are mild-tempered: it takes a lot to get you angry.

You are relatively unconcerned with both achieving success and taking pleasure in life. And you prefer activities with a purpose greater than just personal enjoyment. Likely to: buy healthy foods. Unlikely to: treat youself.

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Dr. Rozmus Says:

Look, parts of this are spot-on. Greenmarket Wheat is true to the farming tradition that created the malts and hops within the beer. Humble, “calm seeking,” “mild mannered,” all fair. But this pseudo-Teutonic business about not being concerned with success or taking pleasure in life? We’re talking about beer, Watson. Beer, joy of joys!

The fact of the matter is, Greenmarket Wheat has a lot more zip and zest to it than Watson’s gloomy assessment. This beer isn’t austere electronic music, it’s the Grateful Dead on a sunny afternoon. The honey, the yeast, the whole shebang are about light, lively times.

Remember, treating yourself is a natural right. Don’t give in to Watson’s drone here. Get up, get out, and get yourself a treat. You earned it.

Check out Watson’s inner workings here:

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