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Watson Analyzes This: Pilsner

Feltraiger

IBM’s Watson computer system, which you may remember from the decidedly one-sided man vs. machine Jeopardy! series when it was first unveiled, is now trying its hand as a psychoanalyst. Personality Insights takes sample text and returns a “spectrum of cognitive and social characteristics.” With Watson Analyzes This, we see what Watson has to say about our beers from their Beers Page description, then run our own, human-powered analysis of its work.

Feltraiger 2

On the Couch: Brooklyn Pilsner
Popularity: Head of the class
Recurring Nightmare: All their teeth fall out and fall down the stairs. Then they realize beer doesn’t have teeth…
Favorite Leisure Activity: A little sun, a little shade, some music and some friends. The classics.

Watson Says:

You are shrewd, skeptical and restrained. You are imaginative: you have a wild imagination. You are laid-back: you appreciate a relaxed pace in life. And you are independent: you have a strong desire to have time to yourself.

Your choices are driven by a desire for prestige.You are relatively unconcerned with tradition: you care more about making your own path than following what others have done. You consider taking pleasure in life to guide a large part of what you do: you are highly motivated to enjoy life to its fullest.

Pavement

Dr. Rozmus says:

Well, well, well, Watson. Looks like this summer weather has really softened you up! That balance of restraint and imagination perfectly sums up Pilsner. The style went from a town being sick of bad beer and resolving to make something better to become literally the most popular beer style in the world.

And living life to the fullest? That’s the fit, right there. Pilsner goes from massive steins in beer gardens, to cans at concerts, to dinners, to everywhere else. Watson, mark my words. One day when we figure out how to get a computer to drink and enjoy a beer instead of short circuiting and freaking out, you and I are taking a few Pilsners to the park together.

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